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CommentsDriven to Drink
Barrington has become a hotbed of underage drinking—and driving. Kids are dying, parents are turning on one another, and the experts are baffled. Is it too late to save this bucolic little town from itself?
By Gretchen Voss
Providence Journal File Photos
(page 1 of 2)
“Please trust me,” fifteen-year-old Mike Neubauer begs his mother, Leslie, on April 30 of 2005.“Please, Mom, you’ve got to let me go, I haven’t been able to do anything for eight weeks.”
It’s true, Leslie thinks—since surgeons screwed metal pins into metal plates in Mike’s hockey-injured shoulder, her son, sitting on the sidelines, had spiraled into a deep, deep depression. He was finally cleared yesterday, given the go-ahead to get on with his life, and now, after “promising this and promising that,” Leslie gives Mike permission to sleep at his friend Tyler’s house, along with his best friend Brenden McGonagle.
But they never go to Tyler’s house.
Instead, Mike and Brenden knock between two high school house parties where the parents are, of course, out of town for the night—a blow-out kegger at one, a more intimate bash at the other. They pile into an Acura Integra at around 1:45 a.m. It belongs to the mother of their sixteen-year-old buddy Zach Stiness, but he had swiped the keys earlier, while she slept. He only has a provisional license, but the teenaged boys don’t give that a second thought.
Nayatt Road is slick with rain, but Zach smashes his foot down on the accelerator anyway, crashing through thick puddles. The speedometer quivers up to seventy-five on the twenty-five-mile-per-hour road. Near Bluff Road, past the approach to the public beach, Zach loses control of the car. His foot never touches the brake as the car screams into the woods, hits a fallen tree and goes airborne before smashing into another tree, crumpling to rest at a forty-five-degree angle. The force of the crash causes the doors to pop open, and the engine is dangling by just a few hoses. Zach and Mike are both partially ejected from the wreck. A neighbor hears Brenden’s raspy, shuddery breaths squeaking out of his collapsed lung and calls 911.
Leslie Neubauer and her husband are sleeping soundly in their modest Old River Road house when the phone rings at 2 a.m. “Leslie, there was a bad accident and we are on the way to the hospital with Brenden,” Marianne McGonagle says. “We don’t think he’s going to make it.”
Leslie bolts awake. If Brenden was in the accident, then Mike probably was, too. She immediately punches Mike’s cell phone number into her phone. When he doesn’t answer, she calls information to get Tyler’s number. It’s unlisted. She and her husband jump into their car and race over to Tyler’s house, pounding on the door in the pouring rain. Tyler is home, but Mike is not.
He tells her about the parties. She calls one of the houses. Mike left with Zach, the kid says.
Zach’s dad, John Stiness, answers Leslie’s call to their house. Is Mike there, she asks frantically. “Zach is dead,” John says. “He’s just been in an accident.”
“Oh my god, you poor thing, oh my god,” Leslie sputters. Was Mike with him?
“I don’t know,” John says.
“Please, John,” Leslie begs.
“All I know is that there was somebody else in the car and they couldn’t get him out.”
Leslie is not ready to give up on her only son. She calls his cell phone. Calls it over and over and over. She waits.
Back on Nayatt Road, rescue workers finally remove Mike’s dead body from the front seat of the Integra. Police Chief John LaCross slides the ringing cell phone out of Mike’s pocket. He looks down at the caller ID. MOMMY, it glows in the blackness.
As Leslie sits, zoned out, listening to the hollow ringing, finally a voice.
“This is Chief LaCross.”
Leslie Neubauer knew, from the day her son, Mike, was born, that she would hear those four words someday. And not for the first time. Ever since her teenaged brother was killed by a drunk driver while growing up in Barrington, she had this vision that her own children would meet that same fate. Her husband would try to comfort her. Lightning doesn’t strike twice, he’d say.
But in Barrington, it does.
There have been probably eight such fatalities since 1966, Leslie says, “and I’ve known every single one of them.” And since her own son was killed nearly three years ago, there have been two more: seventeen-year-old Patrick Murphy while wakeboarding on the Barrington River last July (the driver of the boat has been charged with second-degree murder and underage possession of alcohol), and sixteen-year-old Jonathan Converse, a nearby neighbor of the Neubauers, in exactly the same stupid car-meets-tree accident as her Mike. Nobody in this town of roughly 17,000 was really all that surprised. It’s what kids do here—they drink and they drive and they die on these picturesque streets. Always have.
I am just angry, I am angry. How many other kids have died since then and they still don’t get it? —Leslie Neubauer
Which is why Leslie Neubauer is exasperated. Pissed, really, and ready to get the hell out of Dodge. She and her husband had struggled to stay rooted here, barely managing the ungodly taxes on educators’ salaries, so that their kids could have that Blue Ribbon education. As she smashes spices with a mortar for the Food & Wine apricot-glazed ribs she’s making for her daughter’s family, she lets loose. “I am just angry, I am angry,” she says of the small-town politics that squashed her family’s plans to build a teen center in Barrington—a place where you can’t even rent a Friday-night DVD—in Mike’s memory. “How many other kids have died since then and they still don’t get it?” she asks with another forceful grind of the wrist. And, sure, having a booze-free place to hang might not stop kids from smashing through car windows on rain-slicked streets—when has it ever?—but it would be something. Because ever since she was the sister, instead of the mother, of the latest dead boy, nothing has changed. “I don’t think it’s going to change until the mindset of the parents changes,” she says. Today’s adults are yesterday’s teens, and they hold tight to the belief that kids are going to experiment—are going to throw-up pastel-colored wine coolers on imported Oriental rugs—just as they did. And even now, even when the very real consequences of their kids’ brand of partying—the heightened binge drinking and increased access to fast cars and empty homes—can be seen daily in roadside shrines, parents still live in denial.
Years of open-casket funerals and front-page photos of far-too-young pallbearers prematurely called to duty have yet to usher in an attitude adjustment. Parents continue to look the other way or, in some extreme cases, sanction the beer-pong-charged fetes. Kids continue to get drunk off mixed messages. In fact, there’s a subset of parents in town who call themselves the Group of Twenty, Leslie and other Barrington residents say, who let their kids and their friends drink alcohol and smoke pot in the house, buoyed by the notion that they’re going to do it anyway. It’s well-known around town that the underground group exists, but to date none of its members have publicly surfaced to defend their position. Leslie, for one, is baffled by their legally questionable logic. “It’s still considered a teenage rite of passage, ‘well, kids will drink and so how do we deal with that?’ Not, ‘they should not drink,’ ” she says.
And yet she knows exactly how hard it is to stop kids from drinking. The night before her son died, he had a party at their house when she and her husband
were actually home. “We ran around like idiots; it was a nightmare,” Leslie says, as Mike’s friends tried to sneak sips of the alcohol they had squirreled in. After spending the evening confiscating contraband beers out of kids’ hands, the Neubauers were planning a big sit-down with Mike. “But we didn’t have another decision to make because our son was dead twenty-four hours later,” she says.Despite Barrington’s rising death toll, kids simply fail to grasp the severity of the situation. The very night of Patrick Murphy’s funeral, a group of teens chose to drown their sorrows at a house party eventually crashed by Barrington police. Surprisingly casual sympathy notes posted on the website Facebook suggest the teens are in denial. “hey buddy, i am going to miss you. RIP bro,” wrote one friend to Jon Converse. “…i love you buddy you just chill with [Patrick] murphy till im up there too,” wrote another. Jon’s parents, Terry and Dan, have witnessed it first-hand. Kids still stop by to visit with the family, but the Converses know Jon’s friends don’t fully understand the heartbreaking finality of death. “These kids come over, and I swear they think he’s on vacation or something,” says Terry.
Of course, teens drink and drive and die everywhere. Always have. But, for whatever reason, it seems to happen more often in Barrington. And grab more headlines. Maybe that’s because this sort of ugliness isn’t supposed to happen in such a bucolic town, a peaceful haven with a quintessential New England white clapboard church, miles of scenic coastline and an active garden club. Maybe it’s because an 02806 zip code carries cachet—after all, it’s one of the state’s most affluent suburbs (though it also comes complete with underlying pressures: When gossip travels faster than a late-model Volvo down County Road, it’s important to share the stands with the right parents at a high school lacrosse game, and equally important that your kid gets some playing time). Maybe it’s because Barrington has always been known as a dry town. It’s a sick irony that underage drinking runs rampant in a suburb that boasts only four liquor licenses and not a single package store. Maybe it’s because this is a place to which families flock in order to send their kids to stellar schools. Not to an early grave.
“This is a new year and we have to change,” says Kathy Sullivan, the head of Barrington’s substance abuse task force, on the first Monday in January. She sounds tired. Like she’s uttered this exact phrase many times before. “Remind me in a few more weeks when I’m feeling more cynical that this is the year that we need to make change.”
You can be the most protective, caring parent in the world and one wrong decision,
that’s what it boils down to. —Terry Converse
She passes around little strips of paper to the two-dozen or so people seated in the stark-white conference room of the new Public Safety Building eating packaged gorp and tootsie rolls and mini chocolate bars. The papers say, simply: Hope: Hope is a belief...that a positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary.that’s what it boils down to. —Terry Converse
This past year has certainly provided plenty of hope-crushing evidence to the contrary. Evidence that the media’s klieg lights have focused on like some “Entertainment Tonight” looping of Brit-Brit heading to rehab or Anna Nicole’s last days; evidence that has given a free pass for other towns to pig-pile on the richy-riches next door in some giddy explosion of schadenfreude. (“There’s an AA chapter in Barrington isn’t there? The AA standing for Affluence and Arrogance,” read just one post on the ProJo website. “The result of having zero fear of one’s parents,” read another.)
Lost in the headlines is the fact that Barrington does not own the problem, a fact the chief of police, John LaCross, who took the reins in 2002, is eager to point out. Why, then, have the media’s lights shone a little brighter on Barrington? LaCross’s answer is two-fold. He acknowledges that the town has had an unfortunate number of deaths (“too many”) in the past three years, but he also considers the bad press a byproduct of trying to amp up awareness among parents and teens. “Instead of burying it and putting underage drinking underground, I’ve personally brought it above ground,” he says.
While, ridiculously, no one seems to be keeping thorough statistics on teen drunk driving fatalities (in a state that has one of the highest numbers of overall drunk driving fatalities in the country), hunting through recent news clips does, in fact, tell a more democratic story. In 2006, for instance, three teens in Lincoln died in two separate alcohol-related crashes, more than any one-year tally for Barrington. Last year, there were thirteen such teenage fatalities in Rhode Island—including two boys who were burned alive in a Chevy Blazer after driving it into a tree in Glocester just nine days before Patrick Murphy’s body was pummeled to death in Barrington by a boat propeller.
Still, Sullivan and Chief LaCross are frustrated as they face their equally frustrated audience today, and the meeting rambles aimlessly. For hours. The problem is that while every single person in the room really, really wants Barrington teens to stop mangling themselves in two tons of steel, no one quite knows how to accomplish that.
While the police have stepped up efforts, says LaCross, there’s no way to tell if the initiatives—a zero-tolerance policy for underage drinking, an anonymous tip line, and “you-should-know” letters mailed to the parents of anyone associated with underage drinking (even if they’re not charged)—have been successful. “One thing we can never do,” says LaCross, “is quantify our efforts. Did we save a life? That’s frustrating….We keep moving forward. We’re optimistic.”
Other people aren’t feeling as positive about the future. Hence the back-and-forth sniping at today’s meeting between an adult MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) representative (“Why would you even go to a party where there’s alcohol?” she asks snippily) and a teenaged SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions) representative, who admits she hangs with the party crowd and sometimes drinks but usually doesn’t, preferring to drive instead. “They are going to drink anyway,” seventeen-year-old Becca Miller, the SADD member explains later. “Would you rather have them drink and get into accidents, or drink and have a safe ride home?” The irony seems to be lost on Miller that SADD backs a staunch no-use policy when it comes
to teens and booze. After all, it is illegal.
Please be civil. All comments may be edited for language and/or grammar.
Reader Comments:
The families of these kids have been through enough pain and sorrow. Stop naming these kids and their families.
Why don't you, as a news outlet, promote the construction of a teen center and sponsor teen awareness seminars. Seminars where kids can witness, via films, how when alcohol blood levels increase, that thinking and acting behind the wheel becomes cloudy and impaired.
I don't think the high school has done enough to educate kids about drinking and drinking and driving.
This article has done an excellent job of digging into a community and painting a picture of the issues that are causing tragic losses and extreme pain. What I find most disappointing about some of the parents in Barrington is that they have essentially accepted underage drinking. It is this defeatist attitude that creates a culture of acceptance rather than a culture of change. If these parents would stop saying "they are going to do it anyway" and start thinking of ways to keep thier kids from making these decisions, Barrington could change as a community. Until then, lives are going to continue to be lost in these sensless tradgedies.
I'm incredibly disappointed with this article - it's as if it were written by a High School gossip columnist. To my understanding this article was intended to be written about underage drinking problems throughout RI and hypothesize keeping us safer in the future. It mentions fatalities in other towns, but goes into immense detail about the ones in Barrington.I'm very unhappy with the way certain individuals were represented - certain things were taken out of context, manipulated, or simply in bad taste to put in a state-wide article. Was this meant to point fingers and cause more drama? This article will undoubtedly cause more hurt and anger, instead of putting the right ideas out there. I am surprised with the how unprofessional and distasteful this article is overall.
I agree with the first and third comment. This article is tastelessly written and shows no compassion for the tragedies that have occurred in Barrington. This article should be proposing new ideas for how to end this and constructive criticism. Not only were people misrepresented, quotes manipulated, and ideas taken out of context - but there is a clear disregard for the citizens of Barrington. I am one hundred percent appalled with the lack of professionalism, compassion, and understanding of the situation.
This is tragic. The article is written in a sensationalized, unsympathetic manner. This is not news or good reporting or a worthy story at all. It does nothing but spread more hurt on a wounded community. Where are the leaders in Barrington and Rhode Island when they are most needed! Were they all applauding as a Barrington teen was hauled off to the ACI this week? Are they sitting around waiting for another teen to be carried away to the morgue? Stop blamming the parents--they didn't cause or create the problem alone; society is just as much to blame. Besides, could one really believe that a mother would allow her child to do somehting that would send him or her to their grave; you might as well pick the mother's (or father's for that matter) grave out beside their child. No parent wants to bury their child or see them carted off to prison. The schools (yes), churches, politicians must stand up and join forces to come up with solutions side by side with the parents and neighboring communities.
My question for Ms. Voss - Is this an "opinion/gossip/rumor" article or one based on fact?! We are a non-drinking Barrngton family with teenagers (who aren't perfect) and are 110% against underage drinking - no rite of passage here! With that said, there are countless inaccuracies about the parents, the teens, and the victoms in this article. Talk about adding salt to the wound. The best one is that kid involved in the park accident - if you checked out the facts via the Projo or the internet - granted, this kid was stupid, but he wasn't drunk or stoned or involved in a high speed chase! Please...save it for the tabloid magazines!
For a community that has suffered so much, it saddens and disgusts me to see this article written. No person has the right to point fingers, name-names or anything. How can people criticize other people? IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!! or someone you love. So take a step back be a moral person and pray for those families, the kids who lost friends and a community trying to do right after so many wrongs. This is just sad and hurtful to read. I grew up in Barrington and I never drank, personal choice but I still feel very hurt, violated and sad that people in this world find themselves superior to others and can talk down on them. So sad.
Zach, mike, pat and John rest in peace and i pray for you and your families daily.
This article dumps salt on the wound. Out of line and so rude. I am disgusted and once again embarrassed for the author, Gretchen Voss. This is infuriating and makes me so mad!! The claims are extremely dramatic and it is inconsiderate to publish it around this time of year. I don't understand how people can be so insensitive and unsympathetic. If you are going to write an article about how to stop or educate people about drinking and driving, make it about the dangers and about drinking and driving. Not about the gut-wrenching pain that brings us all back to their deaths. The details are what take the article to a form of gossip, over the edge and out of line. I think Gretchen Voss needs to think about how she would feel being a family member, friend or anyone who knew any of these boys because I hope she would rethink how she wrote her article. And if she wouldn't then I guess some people just suck and have no emotion, I guess for those people you can't do anything.
I am so disgusted while reading this article. Gretchen Voss, I hope to god I never lay eyes on you, your article is the most atrocious piece of work ever written. You should be ashamed to call yourself an author. You take everything you write completely out of context and manipulate the words and the scenarios to play out exactly the way you want them. Your ignorance is so great that you don't care about the families and friends affected by these horrible tragedies. What was your basis for publishing this article? You knew the time of year and the affect that iit would have on this community, but I still see absolutely no point, your graphic details of events are completely unnecessary and throw salt in the wound. You are a disgrace to journalism and have left me completely lost for words with the anger I have brewing towards you. You are a Larry Sphincter. R.I.P Zach, Mike, Jon, Pat. Dont listen to this worthless author, you guys are loved and missed.
It saddens me to think that as the anniversary of Mike & Zach's death approaches, this article is posted. As others have shared, why is this disrespectful, false stated, rude and unsympathetic display of ill-mannered opinions by Gretchon Voss posted? It is unnecessary. We know about the deaths. We know about the underage drinking problem that this town faces just as every other town in America does. So let it rest in peace. Let the families and friends of the victims live without ignorant people like the author of this article trying to talk about EVERYTHING that has already been discussed. Like another has said, save it for the tabloids. Bring this crap somewhere else because no one wants to hear disrespectful comments about young lives that have been taken. How inconsiderate can one be? If you want to do something to help, then start a program. Start an educational program to inform students at a young age. But don't write an article about what YOU think, because honestly, no one cares.
America needs to get its head straight and lower the drinking age, and raise the driving age.
Change the laws and school policies!
The issue facing teenagers, whether they are from Barrington or anywhere else in the state/country, is the lack of meaningful consequences for bad acts. I am not talking about loss of life as a consequence - that is tragic. Generally, and undeniably, they are getting slaps on the wrist - especially from the parents who, in many cases, condone this behavior. In my opinion, this lack of consequence leads them to greater risk taking behavior!
There needs to be a deterrent - a strong consequence for failing to abide by the law. If caught, they should automatically be suspended them from athletics for a season (assuming they are athletes) - or some other activity that is near and dear to their hearts. Automatically take away their license for a lengthy period. Impose meaningful community service requirements that cuts into their "free time". There will always be some who will not be affected by strong and meaningful consequences, but I would be willing to bet that strong and meaningful consequences would have a positive effect on the problem and cause a majority of teenagers to at least think twice before acting.
Gretchen,
I am the parent of one of the victims. Your pointless, highly inflamatory article has offended me at a level I can't even describe. The timing, the embelishment (no need for facts or truth here), selective quoting, the sensationalism and total lack of even hinting at solutions while firmly placing your knee on the throats of injured families, friends of those lost and a wounded community is completely offensive and deliberately demeaning. Please help yourself and find another profession.
And to the editors- Your move toward tabloid style sensationalist garbage is telling and sad.
Gretchen,
To be frank, this article was tastelessly written with no regard for the emotions of the families of victims and members of this town. Which is the most important thing about this post.
Secondly, and less importantly the "irony" is not lost on me that SADD is against underage drinking. But if you did any part of your homework, you would realize that SADD is accepting of all kinds of people despite what they do after school (its in the mission statement). It is open and not exclusive and therefore: no, the irony is not lost on me thank you. When you explained this article to me and asked for my input, this was not at all the product that you said would come of it. I am actually shocked at how far from the truth some of these facts are. This article disgusts me and I am ashamed that my name is in it considering this is not at all what I said, believe, or was lead to believe that this article would be about.
Furthermore, you took what I said completely out of context. It is a reality that there will be underage drinking, there is no way to completely eliminate it. Therefore as a student in the community I will do my best to ensure that my peers make it home safe. I am not saying that is the approach that teachers, parents, or adults should take. Yet as a friend and a student, I will not sit at one more funeral or have my phone continuously ring with the latest arrests and accidents. I hope you reconsider your position on underage drinking in Barrington and your profession. The only people that should be commenting on this issue are people who feel compassion towards a truly desperate and tragic situation.
Sincerely,
Becca Miller
It enrages me that you could inflict this type of pain on families who have already suffered unthinkable tragedies.
Gretchen,
I, too, am very taken back and personally offended by your article. I don't even know where to begin.
I'm first and foremost shocked at the complete disregard for anyone's feelings who've been hurt by these tragedies - of which there are MANY of us. There is no need to go into such detail about events that NO ONE wants to relive. I could hardly bare to read through it all.
One thing that struck me was your calling facebook posts "surprisingly casual," referring to the friends we've lost. Who are you to judge our pain? You have no idea how people feel or what they've been through. I would never have expected this would happen in a million years - I'd do anything to undo what has happened and heal the pain from everyone's hearts.
I feel my words were very twisted and taken out of context, and I think you know Becca and I did not sign up to be a part of this kind of publication.
This article is offensive to so many people on so many levels.
RIP boys - we love you so much and pray for you & your families every day.
Sincerely,
Kate Licciardello
I cannot believe that this article was given a place to be published. Do you have a heart or a conscious? For god sakes you are talking about grief and pain as if they are secondary emotions. I do not know when God passed on his right to judge people to you, but maybe you should give it back. Firstly I am almost positive you took almost all your quotations out of text, and secondly what were you trying to achieve with your sensationalized first hand accounts of tragedies. Were you trying to make grieving parents, family members, friends, and community members cringe remembering the most grueling part of their loved ones lives? Well good you achieved it. I really hope you step off your podium and instead of pointing the finger at someone else look inside yourself. Sure some of these boys made mistakes, but they were good-hearted kind people who wouldn't judge or hurt anyone without knowing them first. Unlike you who from what I can see is a worthless excuse for a journalist and a person.
Furthermore you quote and speak of Meg Jones like a saint and a person who is passionate for a cause. In reality I know many people have witnessed her harassing kids in disrespectful ways. She once called the police on a kid for buying cigarettes (he was 18) at a local quickie mart.
You are a disgusting human being and this is a disgusting website for posting such blatant slander. My recommendation for people who are wrongly quoted in this article is to take action and file a lawsuit against this person. She clearly has no soul and needs to be stripped of her right to voice her opinion.
Sincerely,
Will Charnley
RIP boys don't listen or read this its just a washed up journalist trying to do one story to get a rise out of people.
Wow..It's hard to even find the words to critique this article..First I would agree with Becca, Kate and Charnley every step of the way. To add to the point Kate made about calling our facebook posts "surprisingly casual"..after I read this article I went on the facebook group you grabbed that post from..I couldn't find it..maybe it's been deleted or I simply didn't look hard enough but in reading through those posts (some of them mine) I was brought to tears. Our town has been devastated by these deaths. We aren't accustomed to them and were certainly not casual about them. It's pathetic that a magazine that is as highly regarded as Rhode Island Monthly has nothing better to fill its pages with then untrue slander about a local high school. Rest in Peace Jon, Pat, Mike and Zach you are forever missed and loved
Cassie Dana
What you have apparently failed to realize, Ms. Voss, is that 99.99999% of the kids in this town grow up to have amazingly successful, rewarding careers and benefit greatly from the education and upbringing that they have received in this town. You make comments about some Facebook remarks being casual and, quite frankly, your article seems even more casual in addition to being horribly written. In less than a decade, the vast majority of the kids you just slammed will be owning businesses, running for political office, and perhaps be your boss. I hope to return to Barrington one day to raise a family of my own. Whoever would write an article like this clearly has no appreciation for the parents, relatives, and friends of those who have died. Did they die needlessly, yes. Where they idiots whose life was simply "drinking and driving and dying"..no. They were kids who made a terrible mistake. Barrington is and will always remain the best place to live in RI. Anyone who comments to the contrary is simply jealous. I had one of the best childhoods a kid could ever ask for. A top notch education, three state football championships, phenomenal summers, and unbelievable friends. Go Eagles.
The article has achieved something. It underscores the long-term effects of the tragedies related to teenage drinking. According to the responses posted, nobody wants to be reminded of the pain. No one wants the victims' families to be hurt or offended by rehashing the accidents. But the reality is, these families never get a break from their heartbreaking losses; these issues ARE their reality. Perhaps the rest of us need to be made uncomfortable enough so that we don't forget.
Its not that the tragedies didnt happen or that we arent aware of them, its that its so tastelessly put and offensive. Not only that but the stories are factually wrong, people are incorrectly portrayed, and quotes taken out of content. we understand that this is reality but this article doesnt explain that or give any better ideas, it simply cruelly hurts the people of barrington and gossips and makes light of these tragedies.
This article is filled with speculation and assumption, and presented as fact.
I am so sorry for the Neubuers for the loss of their child. Clearly Lesley is still angry and grieving. To exploit that and her in an article of this nature, and to expose her personal feelings about everyone and everything in Barrington as some kind of fact is wrong.
There is no such group as the 20. It is a myth made up by Meg Jones.
Meg Jones is an unstable destructive woman prone to fabricating stories. Some responsible journalist should look into her past, and the legal problems she has created for herself in every town she has lived in...she moves around a lot.
I am astounded that this article made it past editors to print.
How irresponsible.
In the end the truth will prevail, just wait and see.
Ms. Voss, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you were a responsible, PROFESSIONAL, journalist you would have done your homework and checked your facts! Did you interview any of the so-called "20"? No. Why? Because they were a fictional group made up by Meg Jones solely to support her need for publicity. You tell the sad tale of all the "harassment" the Jones family has had to endure (based on Ms. Jones perception), but did you interview anyone who had been "harassed" by Ms. Jones or her daughter? No. I agree with the previous poster. Had you of checked the credibility of your source, you might not of made a fool of yourself. You make many general statements as to the mind-set of the parents and teenagers in Barrington. Did you interview the majority of them? Again, No (I'm seeing a pattern here). It is painfully clear that you have no clue as to how most parents in Barrington, who have children, feel about underage drinking. They don't condone it, they don't allow their kids to drink or smoke in or out of the house and there would be serious consequences if it should happen. And you have absolutely NO idea how the kids feel.
I do feel great sadness for you Ms. Voss and this magazine. This article was negative, mean-spirited and clearly has no journalistic integrity. Barrington residents have been devastated by their loses. Unfortunately, you have only chosen to spotlight the people who are angry, negative or have an agenda. Had you of done your job properly you would have discovered that there are many, many parents who are working diligently to find positive, EFFECTIVE solutions to the age-old problem of underage drinking
I agree with all the above, this article is a disgusting display of the misuse of sensationalist journalist that is riddled throughout our society.
It also disturbs me a great deal to hear the few, obviously troubled, persons comment on the parents of Barrington. I moved here 5 years ago as a single mom and work two jobs to live here in a very modest home. I have met so many single and married parents working several jobs to be here for their children. I am so sick of this town being portrayed as all wealth and spoiled children. There has always been such a prejudice against this town...for many decades now.
I worry about those who judge others. And it confuses me how anyone can be so callous when talking of a parent's loss in this way. There are teen tragedies happening everywhere else. It is a horrific cultural occurrence that has been occurring as long as there have been cars on the road.
Some parents make mistakes, everywhere. And some teens do...everywhere. It is a problem that stretches far beyond the borders of our tiny town. And let's not forget some parents don't make many mistakes at all and still have been in the midst of all this. And let's remember how many mistakes WE made as kids....
Generally, Barrington is a fine place to live and I think the tragedies in this town as well as neighboring communities should be wake up calls for our society as a whole. Let's take these horrible losses that occur nationwide and use them to remember others and help the families. Let's begin to have conversations that leave out the judgment and begin with "how can we change this?" "What can we, as a community and society, do to change this and help these kids?"
And as for the teens who watched their friends die and still engage in reckless behavior...that is as difficult for me to understand as is the gall of a writer to attempt to boost her career at the expense of harming others.
These are the questions that go unanswered for me
I disagree with the majority of you. As a current student of Barrington High School I feel this article needed to be written. Living in this community has skewed the way I look at this issue… for a while it just began to feel like the norm that people were drinking and many getting themselves in trouble… and I believe that reading this article brought everything back into prospective for me. There is a problem here. One that needs to be fixed. And it can continue to be swept under the rug or we can step up to the plate up and deal with it. What is it going to take for some of these students to realize that people ARE DYING… and for some reason this is still not stopping them from drinking. As a non- drinker I feel that I can say there are only a small percentage of people in our school taking part in drinking and Barrington is not just a town of young teenage drinkers. But for the few of you that are misrepresenting our community and giving it a bad name I am sorry. I feel this article was extremely well written. It hit the areas that needed to be hit, and maybe bringing these stories to life, helping us all realize that these are our peers being killed, families being destroyed, our community falling apart… maybe this realization will help us pick up the pieces, stop the drinking, and get our lives back on the right track.
Gretchen Voss, you should be ashamed for writing this article. It is full of made up facts and is truly disgusting. Barrington can deal with the issues on their own, and do not need you to critize every move they make.
p.s get your facts straight
Yes the article brings the issues to light, but I think what the majority of comments are addressing is the fact that this writer lied and misrepresented people. I have spoken with a few of the people quoted in this article and they told me that they were lied to about how this story was going to appear and also their comments were taken out of context. Many of the statements written were unfounded and untrue.
I do think it is great that high school students are commenting here, we need to hear what ALL these teens have to say.
I love you Mr. & Mrs. Converse.
To the current student of Barrington High School who just posted, I am encouraged that you no longer feel drinking and getting into trouble feels like the "norm". And you are right, there is a problem, but it is a problem that is shared by communities across the country. The point of most of the postings is that this town is being unfairly portrayed and targeted. If you read the Barrington Times or watch the news you would not be of the opinion that the residents of Barrington are "sweeping the issues under the rug". There are many people who are working very hard to find solutions. The school administration, the parents, the police department to name a few. Barrington is and has been addressing this issue for quite awhile, more so than many other communities. I don't know if you were close to any of the boys who are no longer with us, but I can assure you that the students are well aware that their friends are dying and have been deeply impacted. I agree that there are a few who are making bad choices. FEW being the important distinction. It is a sad fact of life that you will grow to understand one day, but you will never completely stop underage drinking. But we CAN do many things to increase the amount of kids that will make the choice not to drink.
Please refrain from judging your fellow students. It does no good. It is time for everyone in this community to come together. If we all work together we can accomplish great things, but, as I think we can all agree, the negativity is counter productive and HASN'T WORKED. Imagine the difference if everyone (the media, the students, the parents, the community officials) were to direct their energies toward positive solutions instead of mud-slinging, finger-pointing and angry, hateful comments and behaviors. Take the passion you feel and make a POSITIVE difference. The time is now.
i would just like to add zach and mike were NOT drunk, check the blood tests...they made a bad choice but alcohol did not have any thing to do with the outcome...nice to know profesional reporters cant get there facts right
r.i.p. zach,mike,jon,and pat
Ms. Voss - you clearly have no idea what you are writing about considering half of this article is wrong information. You make Barrington teens come off like we don't care that our friends are dying. Kids underage drink everywhere, thats not going to change. I believe that everyone has smartened up, whether its not drinking at all, or making sure of having a safe ride home, or being designated driver. People in the media, and journalist like yourself make Zach, Mike, Pat and Jon look like bad kids. None of them were. Before publishing an article like this in your 'Rhode Island Monthly' magazine, think about the way its affecting the people that knew & loved the boys that have died. Think about how WE feel when we read articles trashing our bestfriends. Clearly you're just trying to make a name of yourself by writing an article on Barrington and it's underage drinking problem. You really have no heart. Quote from your article, "Jon Converse still thought he was invincible. Throw a fistful of beers into a brew of testosterone and that lethal cocktail ensures that boys will continue to say, Dude, it’s not going to happen to me." You didn't know Jon, you have no right to say anything like that about him. Nobody ever sits down with there friends and think that they're going to die that night, its not human to think that way. Its not that teenagers think we're invincible, we live our lives.
And to Meg Jones, Michael Silveira is not the most hated kid in Barrington, you're daughter is. We all love and miss Mike, yes some of us are mad at him because of the bad descions he made but everyone makes mistakes. And don't complian about people making comments to you and throwing things at your house, its your fault that youre being treated that way, and your fault how you raised your daughter to judge somebody who just died. She made the comments about drinking directed towards Pat Murphy, and his friends.
RIP ZACH STINESS, MIKE NEUBAUER, PAT MURPHY, and JON CONVERSE, WELOVEU
The fact that Meg Jones is even taken seriously in this article is a joke. Meg Jones and her daughter are disgusting examples of gossipy deranged judgmental and ignorant people in this town. The things that Bianca Pearson and her friends said not even a week after Pat Murphy died were so out of line. The "Twenty" doesn't exist and was made up by Meg Jones after she heard some gossip and decided to start a rumor. Any "reporter" who would ever consider Meg Jones opinion as substantial has no intelligence and i hope they simply continue to write false gossip articles for the "Rhode Island Monthly" Because thats all that you are worth Gretchen Voss. You are a sick individual who tried to spark a fire with your manipulative and hurtful way of stating the "truth". The party that you spoke of the night after Patrick Murphy's death was not held by Barrington teens, but those of a different town. That is only one little example of the ignorance that you have displayed of yourself here. For someone who has no idea what they are talking about you have really embarrassed yourself and whoever is in charge of you by writing and printing this. Leave this town alone and stop trying to act like you somehow have a right to criticize or blame Barrington teens because the only productive point that you displayed through this article is that more than half the Teens that attend Barrington High School have clearly five times more intelligence than yourself.
I am thoroughly disgusted with this article. It was hard to even read through. I have known and loved the Neubauers since I was 3 years old. Yes, mistakes are made, and yes, things need to change. But this article is straight up libel and Gretchen Voss should be sued. Mostly everything she said in here is untrue and unsupported. You are maliciously hurting families and the whole community. I doubt she had any idea of anything that happened those tragic nights, or anything that the families and teenagers are feeling. Speaking for myself, with every death or arrest, I numb inside. I know a bit of me dies with every one. Would you, Gretchen Voss, be writing the same things if one of your family, maybe a nephew, made one mistake, had one bad night, and ended up as a tragedy? From what it appears in the media, everyone in Barrington must drink all the time and must be rich and must be arrogant. Let me make this clear: THIS IS NOT TRUE. I am sorry the rest of the state has to get its impressions of Barrington from slander such as this. You decide to demonize and canonize individuals as it relates to WHO CAN SHOUT THE LOUDEST. That's all it is. Bad kids are those who go out of their way to make trouble for others, and to bring others down. Would a single teacher, coach, or guidance counselor describe Jon Converse or Mike Neubauer as a bad kid? Absolutely not.
-Liz Sultzer
It is heartbreaking to read this article and read the commentary from the readers. Clearly this is an emotional issues that hits us all close to home.
The unfortunate reality is that this is not a situation unique to Barrington or Rhode Island. Alcohol related deaths have been of concern as long as there have been motor vehicles.
It saddens me that this article has been published making it appear that Barrington has a "sinister problem".
It takes a village to raise a child. We all have to take responsibility. Children have to be "guided" and "taught" to make the right decisions. Casting blame gets us nowhere.
WOW! I can't believe that no one at RI Monthly checked out Meg Jones. What Meg Jones deliberately neglects to tell the media is that immediately after Patrick Murphy's death, her daughter sought out Pat's friends and posted some of the most provocative, despicable (too sick to even repeat) comments on a facebook page. Prior to that, most of the kids really didn't know Bianca very well. Of course the kids responded, they were raw with grief. Try as Ms. Jones and her daughter did to get the grieving friends in trouble, it was always determined that what was said to Bianca was neither a criminal offense or school infraction (they called the school and the police and the town and the administration INCESSANTLY - your tax dollars at work!).
Bianca and her mother then decided to take their story to the media, claiming that Bianca was being "bullied". Every time they were interviewed they would embellish their story even more, making the kids and the parents sound more and more reprehensible, all the while making themselves out to be saints and victims. They neglected to tell the media that they, in fact, had provoked this firestorm and were stoking the fires daily. Then Ms. Jones started following the kids (an sometimes the parents) around in her SUV at night. Then she decided to go after the parents, claiming that they had formed a group and "named" themselves "the 20".
And it goes on and on.
It is so obvious that this family is very troubled. What the media has never divulged, perhaps because Ms. Jones has neglected to come clean about her own family, is that Meg’s oldest daughter has been in a drug and alcohol rehab twice. None of us know how Kyla fairs at this point in time, but we all wish her success in her struggle to be sober and clean. Does Meg call her own daughter a murderer?
What this boils down to is a little girl's cry for attention from her mother. If Bianca Jones Pearson really wanted to help make a difference regarding underage drinking, as she claims, she (with the guidance of her parents) would be doing SOMETHING positive to encourage participation. To date, I have not heard anything but hateful lies from this family. Calling your classmates MURDERERS INC. is going alienate you and make people REALLY dislike you. As it has been previously stated, it has been a shameless attempt for publicity.
Rhode Island Monthly, you should have done your homework, or been more selective in the hiring practices of your writers. Sadly, you too, have been duped.
I think for the most part, your article is completely tasteless. You, like most other people outside of Barrington and some IN Barrington, made generalizations about every teenager in this town. Most of us, by now, are SICK of the same disgusted look and remark when we reply that we are from Barrington. It's because of articles like THIS that every single teenager in this town is looked at as a spoiled, rich, drunken teenager.
Another thing, if anyone were really LEGITIMITELY fighting underage drinking, we wouldn't have a 52-inch plasma screen television in the cafeteria now would we? We do have a problem, as does every other town in the United States of America. It's because of these famous people thinking they can do and say whatever they want and get out of trouble. That mindset isn't just running rampant in Barrington anymore. We've always just been in the spotlight because we've got five banks, two pharmacies, a national blue ribbon school of excellence and a picturesque community.
And another thing, Mrs. Voss, were you by chance out on the bridge the night of the accident during the summer? Well, I don't CLAIM to be a friend of Pat, but you will NEVER know what it's like until you see that. Ever. To lose a classmate, friend, family member is a tragedy, no matter HOW close to them you were.
You purposely were trying to stir up emotional issues JUST to sell a couple more issues of your otherwise boring magazine. You deliberately poured salt on the wound and made grotesque remarks involving the deaths of these teenagers and quite frankly, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of dealing with people being divided in school everyday and I'm sick of hearing of someone else losing their lives. But that doesn't change the fact that it is utterly heartbreaking for everyone in the town.
Before you decide to write another factless, demeaning article. Think of the feelings of the people you're writing about for a second, would you?
Sincerely,
Felicia Guerriero
I am terribly disappointed at the biased tone of this article that names names and accuses and entire town of being at fault. Barrington is not any different than other affluent towns across the country with it's "problems" and there is no need to public humiliate, deface or shame 17,000 with an article like this. Journalism is about reporting objectively, this biased "commentary" is a disgrace to Rhode Island Monthly and an embarrassment to the author.
Here is the website for Ms. Voss
gretchenvoss.com
I, along with the majority of the people who have commented on this article, am disgusted with it. This wrongly portrayed both the citizens of Barrington and the boys who have died in these tragedies. You, Gretchen Voss, do not have any idea what it has been like to live in Barrington and witness the toll these deaths have had on everyone and try to recover from it yourself. The pain hurts everyone and no one will ever forget that these events occurred, we will carry them with us for the rest of our lives. Before you start judging an entire town that you have never lived in or probably even stepped foot in, you should get to know people and FACTS more clearly. Mike, Zach, Pat, and Jon were not bad people contrary to your beliefs. That is a ridiculous statement and I cannot even begin to understand how that idea entered your obviously small brain. This article is a completely false portrayal of the town of Barrington.
RIP mn, zs, pm, and jc
take it easy up there boys
Where should I begin. It took me a few days to calm down after reading this article...and I think finally I am ready to express what I have to say. First of all I would like to tell every reader that things written in this article that were stated as fact were in fact not true at all. This was a completely sensationalized article whose main purpose was to evoke extreme emotion and in the process it hurt me, my family, the Converses' the Stineness' and the Murphy's. Now I know better than anyone that we have all been through enough. We know what happened to our loved ones, we know that the this town has had some bad luck but do you really think we want to pick up a magazine and read every detail about the accidents. I don't think so. If I wanted to relive the night I found out my brother was killed I would. To read it on page after page in full and inaccurate detail was one of the more painful things I have dealt with. Do you think Mrs. Converse wanted to read that Johnny, the sweetest, nicest kid I have ever met was an alcoholic. Absolutely not. And you know what, he wasn't. Do you think my mom wants her pain and anger splattered across the pages. Clearly she is grieving, she buried her child 3 years ago Thursday. It is only natural for her to be upset. But what makes me the most upset is that this article was presented to us as a way to try make a difference in our town not to bash it, our boys and our families. Ms. Voss never once did I think that you would turn my families story into this. We opened up to you, we trusted you and this is how you repay us and the other families. Disgraceful. My brother and the other boys were amazing. They were good kids. And we all miss them every single day.
RIP Michael. Zack. Pat. John
We love, miss, remember you always..it was too early to say goodbye
Emily Neubauer
A couple of comments to the "powers that be" at Rhode Island Monthly...
1. I hope you are reading these posts and realize the negative impact your article has had, not only on Barrington, but on you as well. In the minds of many, you have lost all credibility. I, for one will never purchased your magazine again and I encourage anyone who is outraged by this article to do the same.
2. After reading some of the articles written by Gretchen Voss, (gretchenvoss.com) and learning that she had grown up in, what she describe in detail as a horrific alcoholic environment, I can't help but wonder what were you thinking when you hired her to write an article about alcohol and it's impact? SHE SENSATIONALIZED AN ARTICLE ABOUT HER OWN MOTHER !!!! She is the adult child of an alcoholic who clearly has not come to grips with her personal demons and should NEVER have been given THIS story to write.
And finally...
I would strongly caution anyone who is approached by this magazine to BEWARE. You too, could (and probably will be) misquoted, exploited and manipulated. If you have read the previous posts, you realize just how many of the people who agreed to do this article wished that hadn't. They were lied to and their words manipulated by a self serving journalist.
This magazine has sunk to an all time low, but my guess is that they are selling a lot of magazines. It's going to be really hard to top this story, but I'm sure they are going to try. Just remember...you or your town could be next!
I would like to take the time to say that this artice was the most despicable thing I have ever read in my life. In it you described that the media has taken advantage of the tragic accidents that we have had to go through as a town. YOU took advantage of it just as much as anyone else. You did more than that, you attacked our town. I am tired of seeing articles in magazines and newspapers that badmouth our town and our people. I am tired of talking to people from other towns and hearing them talk about how "oh kids in Barrington die all the time." It sickens me. My heart breaks every time I hear someone talk about us in that way. No one who has talked about Barrington yet has the right to. Because none of them have been through it. To lose not just one of your friends, but several, at a young age, is devastating.
I'll never forget any of the accidents. I'll never be able to get over what happened. Especially not after having to deal with reporters that do nothing but target a town that is no different in any other besides the fact that they have been unfortunate.
And to all the people who think they are helping by saying that kids who drink are bad kids and deserve to die: grow a heart. No one deserves to die. And anyone who can honestly think so is just contributing to the anger that is making things worse.
I hope you're proud of yourself Ms. Voss. You have forced everyone who knew anyone involved in the accidents to have to relive every emotion that they felt at the time, which are emotions that no one should have to feel.
Gretchen Voss is pathetic; a sad excuse for a human being and a journalist.
Every person who has written profound and compassionate comments against this article has obviously lived through much more than her and understands a lot more about life than she does.
I feel bad for you Gretchen, you have made a fool out of yourself. You are nothing but a story telling hack and your article is absolute dirt. As a journalist you deserve no respect, not only for the malicious and spiteful point of view you show, but also the misquotations, made up stories, skewed facts, and blatant exploitation shown in your writing.
Miss Voss,
Your article is the probably the most disgusting article I have ever read. Clearly, the sales of RI Monthly must be sagging, and you thought you found the way to pick up the numbers. I will never ever buy another RI Monthly in my life. You need to get your head checked ASAP-your style of writng sucks!! You have no empathy for any of the families involved-your adjectives such as "pummeled" are a disgrace-I hope you lose your job over this article. Maybe then you can get a job creating cartoons, because you ARE SUCH A JOKE!!
Rhode Island Monthly has secured it place among the RAGS of America. Too bad.
We never expected deep, ethical, honest and thoughtful writing from this magazine...but this? Gretchen Voss has found her voice through writing about her personal life in such rags as Marie Clare. Check out Gretchen's web page...it looks like a 12 year old designed it...and she refers to herself as "Award Winning" journalist, but fails to tell us "What" awards she has won.
The emotional intelligence of this story is that of a 12 year old, actually if you took a group of 12 year olds and had them read this garbage they would probably come up with some pretty accurate critiquing. Gretchen is playing into the sensational, hateful, dumbed-down kind of writing that America has sunk to...much like reality TV. The people quoted in this article have, willingly or not fallen prey to this nonsense. Some just seeking attention and publicity like Meg Jones, who throws beer cans at her own house and then blames others, and Bob Burke who through the years has tried to get his name and photo into as many media outlets as possible, regardless of the nature of the exposure.
Should we have expected more from the Rhode Island Monthly? No, I guess not.
We will expect more from the next story. It is time for the truth.
I grew up in Barrington. The things in this article needed to be said.
Someone in these comments wrote: "We all love and miss Mike [Silveira], yes some of us are mad at him because of the bad descions [sic] he made but everyone makes mistakes." I think "mistake" is a bit of an understatement, no?
I would like to know how many people who have criticized this article do NOT live in Barrington... how many do NOT see a reflection in themselves that may be a little too uncomfortable for them to face.
I have been interviewed many times, and obviously quotes are never going to be used in the full context they were given. But you people DID say these things in the article, no? So why the ire at Gretchen Voss? If she wasn't stating the truth and stating facts, you wouldn't be so upset.
In closing, I will add something that is really tragic. A quote that speaks to the level of denial the kids of this town are in... it is written by Sam Hearn on the Facebook page of TC Kooris, one of Jon Converse's friends, who was caught drinking and is now in the Training School:
"honestly dude, its gotten to the point where if i were under 18 i'd crack open an ice cold bud light right in front of chief lacrosse so that i could get charged with posession [sic] of alcohol and sent to training school. its bullshit, but fear not I will move my drinking domain far away from this cursed town and then we will drink once more when you return"
Glad to know you are all using your brains and learning from these "mistakes" your friends make. And if you're so big and bad, even though you're over 18, why not still "crack open" that bud light in front of Chief LaCross? Are you too scared?
My gosh, you people who feel you were taken advantage of should be ashamed of yourselves. Why not use these tragic events to learn from, not to point fingers at a reporter?
It's time to reflect inwards. Maybe YOU'RE the reason this issue isn't going away.
Hi Meg...We were waiting for you. The tone of your comments gives you away.
Hi, this is not Meg. Believe it or not, other people may have different opinions, too. I haven't lived in Barrington in years. Thankfully, I grew up and moved away from people like the commenters here.
Well, based on your heartless, insensitive and inflammatory comments, we're glad you moved too!
Ms. Voss;
I am Leslie Neubauer.
It has taken me some time to process your article. But now, I would like to respond and put some things into accurate perspective. One of the editors, I believe, called us some months ago to request an interview for an article on underage drinking in Barrington. Our initial response was a definitive NO! We were told by her, however, that THIS article was going to be different. The intention of the article would be to discuss our perspective on Barrington, and our thoughts on any possible preventative solutions. She would send someone from out of state to write the article to avoid undue bias. Based on this information we agreed. We allowed Gretchen Voss to come into our home. We spoke candidly about our initial plans to establish a teen center and the disappointing and unfortunate political reasons for its demise. We talked about all the dedicated members of the community that devote every day planning and promoting a safer environment for our children (Chief LaCross, Det. DeCresenzo, Kathy Sullivan, PALS, Father Matt, to name a few). We talked about how the residents of Barrington have a common goal; to provide a safe place for our children to learn, grow and prosper. WELL Ms. Voss - WHERE IS ALL THAT INFORMATION? You embellished all the negatives, and omitted all the positives. You made slanderous comments about children and families you don't even know. You used the judgments of a few and turned them into fact. You reported information that was incorrect and excruciatingly painful to read. We trusted you. We let you into our lives and into our homes...you BETRAYED us! You did NOT even attempt to represent a truthful picture of this town or of the agony it continues to endure. You BETRAYED the families and friends that trusted you to tell the truth- You lied!! And as our wounds are exposed and the pain of tragic anniversaries approach, we are left devastated yet again.
Miss Voss,
And you call yourself a "Journalist"--More like a "urinalist"--the article is only worthy of a toilet--just "pissing off" people
Meg you need to stop going on the kids facebooks...grow up
You are a bunch of imbeciles! I could care less if you want to keep killing each other. It's about the innocent people you put in danger when you get behind the wheel of a car impaired.
Another intelligent, thoughtful comment - NOT! Again, grow up Meg.
As a parent in Barrrington I have found many parents looking the other way as teens drinks. Those parents feel its safer for them to drink at home with supervision. However, what message is that sending? It is against the law for a reason. Would it be ok for them to steal if you were in the store with them? Parents must always be the parent-adult first in all situations. If you drink as an adult then don't drive yourself home. Get a ride from someone else or take a cab. How many parents go to functions and then drive home. Our teens are not stupid if its ok for you then it must be ok for them. Wake up and set the example of what is acceptable/ safe behavior.
Why is Meg Jones going on kids face books and rewriting their comments here? She is once again making things up.
I know many, many parents in Barrington. How come I don't know ONE parent that lets their kids drink at home, or at all for that matter? (Gee, I wonder why? Could you be making it up to make Barrington sound bad?)
I am so sick of people generalizing about the parents in Barrington. If you know that many people in Barrington who let their kids drink, then you should find some new friends.
Thank you to Leslie for her note here. You have confirmed what we all suspected after reading this article.
When I say WE I believe that I speak for the majority of parents in Barrington who have been insulted, accused and ridiculed incessantly. We have taken it on the chin now for a long time, and we have chosen to keep our heads up and take the high road, while keeping the focus on raising our children, keeping them safe, and teaching them about life and good decisions. We also, in the face of slanderous and inaccurate media stories, driven by people like Meg Jones, have had the opportunity to teach our kids about the reality of bad journalism and the power of one persons sensational accusations and lies.
Anything and everything these children say can and will be taken out of context, misconstrued and used against them. We have one woman in this town who is more than happy to exploit them and their innocence.
WE have had so many opportunities to exploit her (Meg Jones) hysteria and sociopathic ways...yet we have not chosen to do so.
We are teaching our children a different way to respond to a person like Meg Jones and to her family and their attacks and lies. But I believe it is time to expose this woman for who she is and what she has done.
To whoever said that everyone is so upset because this article is true, is completely 100% wrong.
We understand the magnitude of the events that have happened. We see the effects everyday. The reason we are upset is because the actual factual information is FALSE. We are upset because people have been misrepresented, manipulated, and misquoted. That is why we are upset. This is a painful disgusting article with no positive suggestions just horrific journalism as if it was a gossip column.
Kids who drink are NOT bad people, they are kids who have made mistakes. Perhaps that one mistake that one night led to a tragedy, but it does not change the fact that it was an accident. (preventable yes, yet STILL AN ACCIDENT)
everyone needs to stop judging the parents who do nothing but love their kids and parent the best way they know how, and the kids who are just trying to find their way in this seemingly unfair world.
Ms. Jones, please stop adding fuel to the fire and going on facebook and digging up comments. Perhaps your time could be better spent doing something positive instead of following teenagers around late at night to see where they go and harassing the police with false tips.
Everyone needs to come together with support and positivity and try and make this town safe for everyone in it. Enough judgement. Please. These events have been hard enough.
The reputations of the boys that cannot be here today to defend themselves are in jeopardy because of articles like this. The friends and family of those boys know better. We love and miss them all.
Mr. & Mrs. Converse, please do not be worried about the reputation of your son, we all love and miss Jon and know how much of a wonderful person he truly was. His reputation will never be tarnished, we wont let it. (In response to your comment in the Projo)
Meg, how about spending more time paying attention to your daughters and less time on facebook? Maybe if you had your daughter would not have ended up in REHAB...TWICE!
People in glass houses should NOT throw stones!
I think that this article was disgusting. Not only was it misquoted, but it was also a painful reminder to the family and friends of these boys that they are no longer with us. I honnestly do not understand why someone who is not from the area of Barrington would even think twice of writing an article like this one. Also, there was a lot of overgeneralization in this article aswell. Not ALL teens in Barrington Drink. Not ALL parents in Barrington even allow teens to drink in their households and not all teens get into cars drunk every single night. I also thought that this heartless "journalist" or whatever she claims to call herself had the nerve to put a picture of Zach's Funeral in the magazine. I thought this was very disrespectful to Zach and his family and friends. Overall, I did not like this article and I thought it just .. I can't even find words to explain it. Everyone in the town of Barrington Misses and Loves Zach, Mike, Pat, and Jon.
Chief Lacross has done nothing but get Barrington in the news, he is destroying the town
As a close family friend of one of the victims, I find this article extremely offensive. The images that are being portrayed of these families, the victims, and the town are repulsive and completely disrespectful.
I believe that Ms. Voss is entirely out of line and her misjudgment of the situation shows a true lack of not only brains, but also heart. It seems to me that this article was written purely to belittle and to attack the victims and the town of Barrington; not to write an article on teen drinking.
You are all truly missed: Zach, Mike, Patrick and Jon.
Let's get this straight--BHS has a chapter of SADD-great, but both Kate L and Becca M are known drinkers-a little hypocritical woudln't you say--unless of course SADD stands for STUPID ASS DING DONGS--then it fits!!
to the above poster:
Kate and I are not alcoholics, we openly admit to having an occasional drink in our past.
SADD stands for students against destructive decisions. SADD’s mission statement is as follows:
SADD is an inclusive, not an exclusive, organization. SADD recognizes that the pressures on young people to drink, use illicit drugs and engage in other unhealthy behaviors are strong. SADD seeks not to punish or alienate those students who make unfortunate choices but rather aims to inform, educate, support and empower young people to make positive decisions in their lives.
If you, or Ms. Voss had done any of your homework you would know that this is an inclusive not exclusive group welcoming people that think positively and want to make a difference regarding this issue despite their out of school activity. So no, not hypocritical. It is in fact, commendable and responsible.
We will give safe rides home to those have been drinking, and no we are not ashamed of protecting our friends; even if it means indirectly making it easier for teens to drink. We do not encourage or condone underage drinking, however if people chose to do so we provide a safety net. If there’s an outlet for us to utilize SADD that can make our friends in less danger, why are we being criticized?
ps. good one with "Stupid ass ding dongs" very clever and witty.
You can stop now Meg. No one cares what you think!
Personally, I would say everyone involved in this situation is wrong a little bit, but everyone involved is also right a little bit. Gretchen Voss was wrong to write her article in an insensitive manner, misrepresenting facts and people. However, SOME of the things in the article did need to be said. Meg Jones is right to care about the situation with underage drinking in this town, but wrong to go about fixing it in such a judgmental way, alienating town members with every step. I can't say I know exactly what happened each time there has been a tragic accident in our town, but I know that when there was alcohol involved, some fault rests on those who were drinking. That DOES NOT mean these boys were "bad kids" or they deserved to die in the least. Maybe I am wrong in saying some of these things, but all I know is that the way to solve this town's problems is not by hurling insults on either side.
Although Ms. Voss is quite intense with her information, I do not believe it is wrong. The town has a definite problem that needs to be fixed. We need to stop trying to hide that fact by blaming her. REALIZE WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS WRONG! ITS YOURSELF TO BLAME FOR THE WAY THE TOWN IS BEING VIEWED!
I personally commend Becca and Kate for trying to keep their friends safe. They know that their friends will do what they will do, and instead of judging them Kate and Becca offer a safe ride home. It may not seem like the right way to deal with things to some, but at least it's SOMETHING. You complain that kids are drinking and driving and that parents aren't doing enough to prevent it, but you don't offer any plans or solutions. It's hypocritical.
Becca and Kate are trying to make a difference in their town by doing what they can, and they shouldn't be criticized for it.
SOCIETY has a definite problem, one that is NOT specific to Barrington. No one is trying to hide behind Ms. Voss. People want her to take responsibility for her manipulation and exploitation of this town and it's residents. She did not represent to the participants in this article what her true intentions were, she twisted the truth and used quotes out of context.
The people who have a negative view of this town are either uninformed, misinformed or jealous. Period.
It just kind of speaks to the small-mindedness of many of you who assume that any and all dissenting opinions must come from one person and one person only. I can tell you I am not this Meg woman. Those of you who feel you were misrepresented, be more specific. What were you hoping that the article would portray you as? Ms. Voss is a journalist. In as much, it is her job is to stir up controversy and make people a bit uncomfortable. Is that not what she did?
It's safe to say that Ms. Voss made people feel more than "a bit uncomfortable."
Then she did her job... as a journalist!
And by the way, based on that mission statement of S.A.D.D. I think the group's name should be changed to reflect a more apt description of itself: Students who Enable Destructive Decisions.
meg jones is a a complete pathological liar who has serious mental problems. she has repeatedly harrassed myself and now chooses to harrass and spread false rumors about my parents. i can only hope that everyone realizes how crazy this woman is and simply takes everything that comes out of her mouth as a ridiculous lie. please do not believe anything this woman says.
Mss. Voss. I have never met you nor do i know any thing more about you than your profession. But from your recent article i can only sit and do my best to restrain the tears that have long been held. I know about the controversy with Mrs. Jones and have stayed out of it. But after reading this i am utterly appauled. Mrs. Jones. No. You are inhumane. and do not deserve a name. To say you do not care if these kids kill themselves, and call them murderers inc. These thoughts and comments are sinister, no matter what excuse you are useing to justify these comments. All i know is i have met alot of people in my life but never felt this way about any. And to you Mss Voss. I was dumbfounded during the section of your article describing the events one November 5. If i hadnt known the people you were talking about in the article i would have thought it was a completely different event. I am still in the process of finding out whether or not it is illegal to fabricate false quotes, For when i read the quotes describing the phone call to mr. and mrs. converse, i just couldnt figure out why it seemed so abstracted. Then i remembered why, i was the person on the phone. Not one word quoted in that section was true.
I honestly I not know what to say to this article. I do not agree at all with what Mrs. Jones said. She says, "They say you can’t label them bad kids, well they are"
I don't drink. I honestly do not think people should drink underage, but they do for whatever reason. Although I am against it, I do not shove my opinions down people's throats. I don't agree that just because someone drinks it automatically makes them a bad person. I've spoken with Kate and Becca a few times and they are NOT bad people.
People need to stop assuming everything is the parent's fault. The parent can watch their kids and lecture them as much as they want but parents can not be with their child 24/7 and ultimately it is up to the kid to make their own decisions, whether it is seen as good or bad.
This article also leads me to think that people need to keep their opinions to themselves because most of the opinions voiced in this article were not constructive at all. This article makes Barrington sound like a heartless town. I did not know Pat or Jon but I was at the bridge the night of the accident and I was crying with and supporting my friends that did know him. When Jon died the entire school came together to support each other. People who were once enemies were hugging and helping each other get through the day. So please don't make us look like a screwed up heartless down full of "murderers". We're not.
RI Monthly, if you read any of these comments I recommend that the town of Barrington receives some kind of an apology for all the hurt and frustration caused by this article. That would be the RIGHT thing to do.
Cheif Lacrosse says that he has, instead of burying underage drinking, brought it
above ground and into view for all to see.
Cheif Lacrosse, has your approach made any difference? Are you getting through to the kids? Are you making any difference. Have you held any open town meetings or forums for parents and children to attend, have you reached out to the community. Have you considered following the East Greenwich model of having a plain clothed cop who is a trained psychologist on duty to counsel the kids?
These deaths have happened to these young people on your watch.
As far as Meg Jones and her daughter, Bianca Jones Pearson,they have no interest in helping others, saving lives, enlightening, or educating others. What they do is destructive and hateful. There has not been one positive action on that family's part to make a difference. The disgusting facebook comments made to Patricks friends after his death by Bianca (Megs younger daughter, not the older one who has been in rehab twice) and her posse were incredibly heartless and hateful ...the idea that an adult woman (Meg Jones)would name a group of young people murderers inc and write nasty letters to the parents of deceased children is clear evidence that there is a severe psychological illness at work within that family.
"THE TWENTY" Another Meg Jones tall tale.
Meg is enterprising, you have to hand her that. She has a website now that offers REIKI over the phone. She will heal you and DETOXIFY you by phone as long as you send in your check. Consumer beware.
This most toxic woman claiming that she will detoxify anyone is outrageous!!!
Do not get REIKI from a woman who encourages her own daughter to call her classmates murderers inc. from a woman who condones divisive attacks, lies and harrassment.
As a current college student who lived in Barrington for 8 years and still permanently resides there, it truly saddens me to see these incendiary remarks published in a state wide forum, but not because they are untrue statements. I chose not to drink in high school because I knew that my parents worked hard to be able to purchase a house in a town like Barrington and I never felt that sense of entitlement, the ability to do whatever I wanted without consequences, that it seems some children share. After finally getting out of that town and attending a top university, I realized that while, yes, many of my peers here drank in high school and still made it to a top national university, they feared authority. The only unfair element of this article, although the article was unnecessarily dramatic in my opinion, is the omission of those students, like myself, who spent their teenage school years working their asses off at Barrington High School. Riches and prestige alone cannot get students into top universities. Many teenagers in Barrington work hard, and those nights spent writing essays and studying for AP exams until 4 am allow these kids to get into med school and law school and become successful adults who live suburban paradises like Barrington. Members of the class of 2008 were accepted to institutions such as Caltech, MIT, Harvard, Bowdoin, Stanford, etc, and students at BHS have consistently matriculated to these top notch institutions. It saddens me that those students who instead spend their late nights drinking and driving steal the spotlight for the outstanding leaders who DO exist at BHS, and the notion that this article presents true information about students at my former school truly sickens me.
Your lack of professionalism is appalling. How you could bring yourself to write about these kids and their families in this way? Clearly, you have no capacity for empathy or any other human emotion. This is quite possibly the roughest, most callous thing I have ever read, and that includes Mein Kampf. Now go back to journalism school and retake the course where they teach you about journalistic integrity.
SADD - Students Against DESTRUCTIVE DECISIONS
There are many, many other destructive decisions a student can make in addition to drinking alcohol.
What about calling your classmates MURDERERS? That seems like a very destructive decision to me. Bianca Jones Pearson should be held to the same standards as she and her mother demand the other students to be.
Let's talk about the alleged "bullying" that Bianca claims she had to endure. Ms. Jones went on the Helen Glover show and told the story of how some students named their Biology cat "Bianca". That was her definition of bullying.
Well, Ms Jones do you think that calling your classmates MURDERERS is bullying? Hmmmmm...
It seems to me that there are 2 sets of rules, one for the Pearson-Jones family and one for everyone else.
Ms. Jones - why don't you start a group and "name" yourself M.E.D.D. - Mothers who Encourage Destructive Decisions!!!
As an outsider, I must say that if some of these comments are trying to paint a different picture of the town than the article painted, you're not doing a very good job. You're all kind of coming across as a bunch of whiners.
At this point, the classmates who are dying are doing so at the hands of their friends, and that, it seems to me, is why people are hard pressed to place blame, simply calling the incidents 'accidents.'
But what if these same friends who have been tragically killed had been killed by some random drunk person no one in the town knew? I highly doubt that it would be classified by the victim's friends as an 'accident.'
Again, I am reading all of this from an outsider's view. I think some of you should try to do the same.
The article was not written with an objective point of view. As an outsider how would you respond if a journalist took your story and your words and misconstrued it, embellished, and made things up...then presented that story to the public as fact. As an outsider I would think that you would want to read a more honest and factual account. Out of all the boys who have lost their lives, only one of the accidents have been confirmed as a dui. How is that for fact. Young people are dying in cars everywhere in tragic numbers, to make this about Barrington and for the "outsiders" to accuse Barrington as a whole of being responsible for this phenomenon is ludicrous.
Your comments really highlight your very small-minded, limited view of the town of Barrington and the accidents that have occurred here.
By your own admission you are an "outsider",(or are you?) which leads me to ask the obvious question - How do YOU know what REALLY happened?
The tone of your comments makes it crystal clear that you are not a rational human being. You are jumping to conclusions as well and crucifying an entire town based on an article that is highly inflammatory.
I can only hope that you REALLY are an "outsider".
We are not painting a picture. We are speaking up for the truth and what is right and wrong. We are tired of our children being treated badly when ever they go anywhere and say that they are from BHS.
They have been villified by the people in this state. Please read Gretchen Voss's Tall Tale again. Then read Leslie Neubauer's blog above. How would you feel if you lost a child and agreed to participate in what you were told would be a positive and truthful article, and then this is what was written and printed?
Meg -there is a maturity level that moves beyond placing blame on others. The majority of people in Barrington will not join your club and call the children murderers inc. They will not advocate division, attacking, provoking, nasty letters, and self righteousness in the face of this situation. United we stand, divided we fall. The people in Barrington are (and always have been)working together as a community to handle the universal challenge of helping the young people in this town navigate the teen years.
Your relentless attempts to try to divide and conquer a town at a time of intense pain and grief is pathetic, destructive and self centered. It is clear that you are an opportunist of the worst ilk.
One can only hope that is becoming more obvious to you that the people of Barrington know that your intentions are not pure, good or honorable.
I am glad someone who actually knows how to write was finally able to shed some light on this issue.
Oh that's right, there is no problem in Barrington. It's the media's fault. It's other people's fault.
I just don't understand what is not truthful about this article? Please outline for me without being so ambiguous.
No one ever has said that there is no problem in Barrington.
Have you read any of the comments posted? They clearly explain why people are disturbed by this article. Does everyone have to keep repeating themselves for you to grasp that?
And to the person who only sees "a bunch of immature children, who have a lot of growing up to do before daddy gets them a job", your comments are very telling as they showcase your bitterness and lack of maturity. It is your kind of destructive, hateful thinking that is the real problem in Barrington!
"It's hypocritical.
Becca and Kate are trying to make a difference in their town by doing what they can, and they shouldn't be criticized for it."-SORRY BUT YOU SHOULDN"T BE A REP FOR SADD IF YOU ARE PART OF THE PARTY CROWD--and if you admit to drinking-it doesn't mean you are an alcoholic either-it just means that you can't play both sides of the fence-which is a problem in BArrington--People talk the talk, but don't have the balls to WALK THE WALK--I don't think any college would be impressed that these girls list "SADD REP" on their apps but are known drinkers
That is your opinion and you certainly are entitled to it. But the truth of the matter is that it really doesn't matter what your opinion is. You do not make the rules as they apply to who is allowed to join S.A.D.D.
You state so matter of factly that they are known drinkers. Are you with them constantly to know that? My guess would be no. So what you are doing spreading vicious rumors. Shame on you!
It is well known that Barrington has a drinking problem. The blame game can be played, but I believe that it is more important to look to the deeper issue of why teens are drinking to such a degree in the first place. An earlier post mentioned that many of the students would become politicians and other white collar professionals, and would therefore contribute greatly to the community. Do you not think that some of this enormous pressure is part of the cause of teens drinking in the first place? Barrington is a place where taking five years for high school is looked down upon (many other places believe that taking five years is useful and acceptable), where the standard BHS graduate goes to a highly-ranked 4-year university. Whether or not this article brought out the truth or was sensationalized, I hope that it gets people thinking about the pressure that Barrington youths face and what they will do to escape. I myself went to BHS but did not drink once during my school years. The environment of a need for achievement that Barrington has created has led to students using drugs and alcohol. Steps need to be taken to lessen the pressure of the teens and allow them healthy ways to relieve this stress.
I find it interesting that everyone is calling for harsher consequences for teens drinking and driving. Tragically, what happens too often is the teens who drink and drive suffer the harshest consequence available: they are dead. If watching their peers die isn't enough to make teens realize that they are not invincible and that this could in fact happen to them, do you really think that threatening them with community service or even pullouts from athletics is really going to stop teens from getting into a car after they have been drinking?
Have the teens that so cavalierly admitted that they drink forgotten the fact that it is illegal? Whether you agree with the law or not, the fact of the matter is that it is against the law for anyone under the age of 21 to drink.
I'll echo the comments made a few posts above me in saying that I am a BHS graduate who chose not to drink while in high school. I am not a saint, I have drank illegally in college, but it was with full knowledge of the consequences of my actions if I were to get caught, and I can honestly say that I have never driven drunk or gotten into a car with someone who had been drinking because I don't have a death wish! My parents also have always instilled in me while I lived home that if I got myself into a situation where I had no way to get home, I could always call them to come get me. They would rather be angry at me for drinking illegally than have to identify my body at the morgue.
The teens in this town really do ne