Faces of War

(page 2 of 4)

Sergeant Steven Gill deployed to Tallil, Iraq, with the 1207th Transportation Company of the Rhode Island National Guard in July 2006. His wife, Shannon Gill, expects him home in September 2007 “unless they extend him, which hopefully they don’t,” she says. “A lot of the guys that have gone over there expecting to go home a certain day, and then they extend them for a few more months without warning.” Shannon has two children, Brianna, fifteen, and Brian, eleven, from a previous marriage; the three of them share the same round face and dimples. Shannon and Steven married six years ago; he has been a father to Brian and Brianna ever since. The family lived in North Providence until Sergeant Gill left; then Shannon, Brian and Brianna moved in with Shannon’s mom in Pascoag.

Brian Latendresse, eleven
fifth grade, Steere Farm Elementary School, Pascoag

He liked video games, so we would play together and stuff. One time, we stayed up until 3 a.m., trying to beat a mission on “Conflict: Vietnam.” It was just kind of easier having him there because it was more funner. Also we went golfing a couple of times, and I got to drive the cart around.

There’s nobody around here to help me with guy stuff. Like why you grow armpit hair. So I can’t talk to anybody, really, about it.

My teachers know that he’s away. Not a lot of my friends know, though. I told three of my friends and that’s it. Because they think they’re better than everybody. And they’d probably think that my dad’s just a truck driver. It kind of makes me angry. On the other hand, I know my dad’s doing something good. So it’s kind of back and forth. It just feels weird. Because a lot of times, I don’t want to talk about it. Because sometimes I don’t like why he’s over there. And sometimes it’s good he’s over there. It kind of gets confusing.

You wonder if he’s okay. Because you hear every day that there’s car bombs and everything. And that there’s people being blown up and everything else. And it’s kind of scary. He told us that there’s little kids running around with bombs strapped to them, with AK-47s, and it’s really scary. People don’t realize how much they’re risking their lives. I feel really proud that he is doing this for us.
   
Brianna Latendresse, fifteen
ninth grade, Burillville High School

When he left, it was kind of like — we didn’t want him to go.  But he had to go. It didn’t actually feel real until the day he left. It was sad. Everybody was crying. But I tried. I didn’t cry. I was teary-eyed, but I didn’t cry. I’m not good at showing emotions.

We used to go bowling a lot. That was his favorite. He loved to bowl. We joined a league, and we used to go all the time. We haven’t been bowling since he’s been gone.

Moving to Pascoag was difficult. I have to share a room with my brother. We had to change schools. I told a few of my friends, but I don’t want everybody to know. I don’t want them to feel bad for me. Some people have their own opinions about people being over in Iraq and stuff like that. I want them to be over there, because at least I know that we’re protected. And 9/11 can’t happen again. Well, it can, but it’s not likely to. And then other times, I think of all the people that are dying over there, and it’s — sometimes I think it’s not worth it for them to be over there, dying, not over here, at home, with their family.

The other day I was at Walgreens, and there was this guy, and he had a sticker on his bumper that says, ‘Pull out of Iraq—there should be no war.’ It was kind of funny because me and my friend had Toby Keith, “American Soldier,” on, and the guy came out of Walgreens, and we blasted it, and started screaming at him. If they don’t want them to be over there, then why are they here? If they want to be free and stuff, well you have to pay a price for that.

My dad says, ‘You gotta get As in class! You gotta pass, or else you’re not getting a car next year!’ And it’s like, how can I pass when you’re gone? Because he used to help me with my math homework a lot. Because he was really smart with math — he could get it in a second. And now it’s hard. And I’m trying not to think about it, so I can try to get my work done so I can get the stuff that I want. I want to make sure he comes back, and I’m doing what he told me to do. And then other times, I worry about it and my grades plummet. When he first left, the first quarter, my grades were really bad. They were like Fs and Cs and stuff. I want to do my work, but then something pops in my head. And then I start to worry about what he’s doing. Like when he’s on a mission, or something, then that’ll distract me with my work and stuff like that. Other times, it’s just, I think of something we did, and then I think he’s not here anymore, so it distracts what I’m trying to do. Like the fun times that we had. Like Christmas morning and stuff like that, when he’s like the biggest child, and he’ll come and jump on my bed and wake me up, before I was even ready to get up.

He can be the strictest person you’ll ever meet. Now I know that he was strict because he wanted me to get my best education. He didn’t really get a good education when he was in school. He quit school. And he wants me to finish my high school, get my diploma, go to college, and all that stuff.

The hardest thing is not having a father figure around. He’s always been my father figure because my father hasn’t been around. And with him not here, it’s just like I have my mother, but sometimes I’d like to have my father here too.