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With Patrick Kennedy's face - and Mark Arsenault's story on why he's leaving political life - still claiming prime real estate on our web page, we'd be remiss not to bring you Kennedy's Top Ten Reasons Why He Won't Run Again.
The list, written by Kennedy and Arsenault, pokes fun at the most colorful moments of the eight-term US rep's public life. Kennedy read it himself at the Providence Newspaper Guild Follies, an annual satirical comedy and revue, at the Venus de Milo restaurant in Swansea, Mass., last Friday, February 26. A video of his performance is on the Providence Journal's website.

No. 10: Being closer to Rhode Island and Don Carcieri makes anybody’s poll numbers look better.

No. 9: I thought it would be good to finally run against a Chafee to see who could actually find a real job first.

No. 8: I thought I’d take a job as press secretary for Marsha, Marsha, Marsha … Coakley.

No. 7: I think that, after this much time, Sheldon Whitehouse has finally come along well enough in mastering foot-in-mouth that I can move on now.

No. 6: NBC was looking for an Irish guy with funny hair to fill the ‘Late Night’ spot.

No. 5: Tiger Woods asked me to help him with his long game. He asked me to lobby to make sure Viagra is covered in any new prescription-drug package.

No. 4: Toyota has hired me as their consultant. I’m not sure why, because I can’t seem to get my car to stop, either.

No. 3: And speaking about the kind of practice driver that Toyota would really love: Tobin would be perfect because he never even knows when to apply the brakes in the first place.

No. 2: On this two-year anniversary, I’m training for a rematch in L.A. with that Los Angeles airport security guard.

No. 1: It’s just so hard to maintain my sobriety around a party animal like Jack Reed.